Let's talk about “person” in a story, that is to say, what personal pronoun shall a writer use to address her audience?
If you have read much Victorian literature, you will recall that the writers often spoke directly to the reader, using the “second person.” This method is not used quite so much these days, but Kate DiCamillo, in THE TALE OF DESPEREAUX, just before the first chapter begins, says, “The world is dark, and light is precious. Come closer, dear reader. You must trust me. I am telling you a story.”
Oftentimes when a writer starts a new story, several elements cohere at once. Suddenly, he has a great concept and begins to hang the premise on a particular person, place, or situation. He might be able to see the Plot from the beginning and know exactly how it will end. He can see his Main Character and knows how he looks, thinks, and feels.
We want to tell our story the way we feel is most effective, so choosing which person to use is an important element for us to decide. Nowdays, most children’s literature, except for non-fiction, is told in either first or third person.
I have found that it pays to be flexible. Sometimes a good critique group will be able to help by suggesting that I (or You) try re-writing the story in another person to see if it would produce a more vivid or striking result. When you do this, you have two versions of the same story to compare. You might also have to change persons for an editor or in submitting the story to a different publisher. Research is the way to get to know publishers’ and agents’ preferences.
Here are some examples of Picture Books that all use Third Person:
PORCUPINE’S SEEDS, by Viji K. Chary, begins: “Porcupine loved visiting Raccoon’s garden. He turned cartwheels on the soft grass, ate juicy apricots from the tree, and listened to the soothing water of the fountain.”
CHRISTINA KATERINA AND THE BOX, by Patricia Lee Gauch, gets to the heart of the story right away: “Christina Katerina liked things: tin cups and old dresses, worn-out ties and empty boxes.”
Here is the first paragraph in THERE’S A TURKEY AT THE DOOR, by Mirka M. G. Breen: “When the teacher said, ‘Have a nice Thanksgiving break and write a story about your Turkey Day,’ Niles’ head hung low. It was hard to write about Turkey Day without turkey.”
These Middle Grade books are varied:
Margot Finke, uses Third Person to tell about the aboriginal Australian boy in TACONI AND CLAUDE: DOUBLE TROUBLE: “Australia, sometime in the 1950’s. The full moon cast a cold light on Taconi’s naked body as four wizened elders pinned him on the ground close to a blazing fire. Sweat rolled off him, and his heart raced the thump, thump, thump of the feather drums: faster and faster.” {Claude is a chatty cockatoo}.
These two Middle Grade books both are told in First Person.
SHADOW BANDITS, by Cindy Davis, begins with dialogue: “Hey, do you smell something burning?” I asked, raising my head and sniffing, the same as Rags was doing beside me. Rags’ black nose wrinkled and his lips curled back a little.”
Avi’s CRISPIN: THE CROSS OF LEAD takes place in England, A.D. 1377: “’In the midst of life comes death.’ How often did our village priest preach those words. Yet I have also heard that ‘in the midst of death comes life.’ If this be a riddle, so was my life.”
Most editors prefer that Young Adult be in First Person. Here are two examples.
MISTAKEN IDENTITY, by Linda Eadie, begins: “The white leather upholstery felt like slick ice against the backs of my legs as I slid into our limousine. I tugged at my skirt. It wasn’t really a skirt. It was more like a pair of baggy shorts. Whatever it was, it fought back and refused to cover my exposed thighs.”
BEASTLY, by Alex Flinn. “I could feel everyone looking at me, but I was used to it. One thing my dad taught me early and often was to act like nothing moved me. When you’re special, like we were, people were bound to notice.”
Occasionally, a First Person story in a Young Adult sounds almost like the narrator is talking to the reader, giving a more intimate feel to the relationship.
BACK STAGE PASS, by Gabby Triana. “Day One. Let’s see how long it takes before the madness begins. Because it will, you know. It always does. The fake smiles, the wannabe friends, the can-you-get-me-backstage-passes?I just got here and already I want this to be over with.”
Whatever person you choose to write your yarn in, I hope it will serve to present the story in the strongest and most understandable way.